Love, your name is Johnny!

Dear Johnny,

It's late and I'm trying to write for hours some things in this paper. Nothing came to mind. In fact, everything came to mind. Many things at once. Dear, teach me to control my words and my thoughts. Please help me. Today, I made a nonsense. I threw out the company of a loved one to be able to be alone with you. You know what's the worst of it? The fact that I will not be alone with you, but with one of his characters. Johnny, teach me to not want your eyes staring into mine, my fingers between her jaw completely contracted, yours fingers moving all over my face... Teach me not want to hug her and above all, teach me to stop me feel it even when you do not know about my existence.
This is my first letter. And last. I want to beg you not to be so oddly important to me. I want that I don't get hours staring at a picture of you, hoping one day to see it up close. What a fool, not true, my little boy? Help me stop listening to your voice, because is the one that makes me want to live and at the same time, makes me want to die. Makes me want to be happy, but also makes me want to cry. Unchecked, indeed. Help me to stop daydreaming with you. Help me stop wondering about your life, every detail, every battle, every character, every show, every guitar solo, every discussion with his parents, in each class, their first puff on a cigarette... [] Make me stop you want to know every detail about you. Details of your face, your body ... of his life. I'm just a girl and you're a man with wife and children, but please teach me to stop wanting to be a woman. A woman for you. Be your woman. In a few hours or days or years, I'm reading this and see how I was foolish, but I'm desperate. I never felt that before. You're the most amazing person I've ever "met".
This is a cry for help, a cry for rescue. Please, dear Johnny, help me. I'm lost between tears, dreams and harsh reality. I don't know what else to say, what to do, how to explain my feeling. It's all very confusing... Just... help me.
Don't help me forget you. I don't want it, because your smile, only your smile, it gives me reason to live my day. But help me to control myself. Help me find myself 'cause I am lost in my thoughts and your perfect features.
Just help me. As always, tomorrow I will wake up more day alone. But with you in my mind. It's enough.

With all the love inside of me, your little girl.