Love, your name is Johnny!

Dear Johnny,

I saw you! Yes, I saw you. You're so beautiful. You're so beautiful being silly! Oh my God, it's so beautiful when you smiles. While I saw you - and got stuck in your traces - I could only think: Oh, my God, I want to hold him, but it is impossible, so, hold him, hold him with all your strength for me. Is the only thing I ask of you. I didn't mean for this to go to the far did it, "but I'm fallen for you. " - That's what your character says to the character of Angelina, am I right? - I have not stopped thinking about this phrase. Yes, I'm fallen for you, I'm fallen for you, I'm fallen for you. Well, I don't wanted that, but it's your fault! Your fault for being so metrically perfect. I had a horrible day, my sweet, but see you, feel you, cry - hidden, I faked it well, you know? - for you... Well, was the best thing I could tues. I confess that I once again wanted to be a woman. A woman for you. Ah, my boy, how nice it would be an Angelina! But do not worry, I know this is crazy. Don't be alarmed. You're wonderful in your movie and please don't be sad because of the criticism. You're Incredibly beautiful. Incredibly talented. I never been so happy to see you. Never.
Oh, and I cried of happiness (I thought you would like to know this)

With all the love inside of me, your little girl.

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Love, your name is Johnny!

Dear Johnny,

I lied. My first letter was not the last. But I needed to talk to you. I'm angry, you know? Very angry to be honest. I hate how people call you hot, dirt, and delicious. You are, but how can just see that? How May prefer to look at your body - incredibly sexy - that looking at your beautiful eyes? Everything in you is sexy, But there is much more in you, I know. Wish I could look at him closely, on all your sides. You're the sweetest man I've ever "met" and it annoys me people just look at him as a man sexy. You're much more than a pretty face. You're amazing, and I know it, just I don't know how, but I just know. Dear Johnny, I wish I could make people look all your sides, as I look, but i can't. Sorry about that. This letter is a letter of protest and also of love. Love for you. Now, I'm holding you and it's the best thing in the world. Except that only in my dreams. The sweetest I have is when you're in them. Can you feel me? There? - Because I Can feel you. Always. -

With all the love inside of me, your little girl.

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Um enterro e uma fuga

E então eu sentei no velho círculo, aquele do parque, que de tão enferrujado é preciso um tempo maior para que se tenha uma velocidade plausível. Agarrei ao volante e sozinha comecei a girar. Girar, girar, girar e girar. Eu não sabia no momento o que eu queria, eu só desejava girar. Vomitei. Na manhã seguinte me encontraram e me levaram para casa, estava faminta demais para reclamar disto. Deitada em minha cama apenas pensando, passei a entender por que entre todos os brinquedos do parque, eu fora escolher logo aquele. Um círculo medonho, infantil até demais, que possuía um volante no centro e era eu quem comandava a velocidade dos giros. Eu só queria ficar sozinha e consegui, mas por mais que eu girasse o brinquedo, aquele momento não passaria mais rápido. O mundo não é aquele brinquedo enferrujado, mas havia desespero. Por mais que eu girasse, o mundo não giraria mais rápido como o brinquedo, e tudo aquilo não passaria mais depressa. A minha ferida cicatrizaria mais rápido, eu nem teria que esperar por isso. Os dias passariam tão depressa. Por isso eu tentei. Tentei fazer do brinquedo, o meu mundo. O mundo em que eu ficaria bem logo.

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Love, your name is Johnny!

Dear Johnny,

It's late and I'm trying to write for hours some things in this paper. Nothing came to mind. In fact, everything came to mind. Many things at once. Dear, teach me to control my words and my thoughts. Please help me. Today, I made a nonsense. I threw out the company of a loved one to be able to be alone with you. You know what's the worst of it? The fact that I will not be alone with you, but with one of his characters. Johnny, teach me to not want your eyes staring into mine, my fingers between her jaw completely contracted, yours fingers moving all over my face... Teach me not want to hug her and above all, teach me to stop me feel it even when you do not know about my existence.
This is my first letter. And last. I want to beg you not to be so oddly important to me. I want that I don't get hours staring at a picture of you, hoping one day to see it up close. What a fool, not true, my little boy? Help me stop listening to your voice, because is the one that makes me want to live and at the same time, makes me want to die. Makes me want to be happy, but also makes me want to cry. Unchecked, indeed. Help me to stop daydreaming with you. Help me stop wondering about your life, every detail, every battle, every character, every show, every guitar solo, every discussion with his parents, in each class, their first puff on a cigarette... [] Make me stop you want to know every detail about you. Details of your face, your body ... of his life. I'm just a girl and you're a man with wife and children, but please teach me to stop wanting to be a woman. A woman for you. Be your woman. In a few hours or days or years, I'm reading this and see how I was foolish, but I'm desperate. I never felt that before. You're the most amazing person I've ever "met".
This is a cry for help, a cry for rescue. Please, dear Johnny, help me. I'm lost between tears, dreams and harsh reality. I don't know what else to say, what to do, how to explain my feeling. It's all very confusing... Just... help me.
Don't help me forget you. I don't want it, because your smile, only your smile, it gives me reason to live my day. But help me to control myself. Help me find myself 'cause I am lost in my thoughts and your perfect features.
Just help me. As always, tomorrow I will wake up more day alone. But with you in my mind. It's enough.

With all the love inside of me, your little girl.

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